My Review of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Overall I have decided that I am not the target audience for this book. While I agree with some of the points made, I feel like it is meant for women who believe that you have to get married in order to have a loving relationship with a man. Not that I don’t think marriage could be a wonderful thing or that I wouldn’t even try it myself. But marriage is not the technically the “End Result” that I’m looking for.

I think my thoughts towards the book fit into 2 major themes. One is that I feel like he writes about men as though they are black and white (and I don’t mean race). I feel like he takes all personality out of the men. Second, just because a man doesn’t do something mentioned in the book, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Now, if he doesn’t do anything in the book, I would go with he’s not going to stick around long (nor should you let him). I would have felt much better if the book had started out with if your “prospective partner” does some of or all of these things he “could” bet your man.

Some things that I agree with:

Men’s love isn’t like our love: How true! Men don’t get all emotional and sappy when they think they aren’t loved…or as a way to show love.

The Three Things Every Man Needs (Support, Loyalty, and the Cookie): But, I also believe that all women need this too. I actually think this should be a statement made about people in general.

The words “We Need to Talk” Do Scare Men Shitless.

A man who introduces himself to you wants to sleep with you

Men are not mind readers and we do have to spell out our requirements/expectations (although I disagree about when this is appropriate)

Pretty much everything said about Mamma’s boys (and I’ve dated one so I know)

The men who cheat do so because:

They think they can get away with it

What’s happening at home isn’t “happening” like it used to

There’s always a woman out there willing to cheat with him.

The Five Questions you should ask him – although I don’t think you should use the answers to make an immediate decision.

The reasons for the 90 day rule…although not the 90 day rule itself…

Just Be a Lady. I completely agree that we can be strong, independent women while still being feminine.

We should not belittle our significant other when they are going through a rough time.
Men are simple creatures…Woman should be too.

What I didn’t agree with or understand:

If you have an ex that has started to “bother” you, and it is to the point that the new friend walks away…I don’t think this automatically makes him someone that isn’t a keeper for the woman. How long have they been seeing each other? I know that this is part of the 90 day rule and in that respect it is taking time into consideration. But depending on how severe the trouble with the ex is, I don’t know that 90 days is enough of time to know a woman enough to say you want to put up with the BS.

A guy who can’t hold is own when first meeting your kids isn’t necessarily a guy who is automatically one that you should not consider for the future. Maybe he hasn’t ever been around kids. That can be something to get used to. Now, if a month goes by and he still hasn’t warmed up to them AT ALL, then maybe he’s not kid material.

If this statement can be made about a man, “Because he wants you and he doesn’t want to loose you” why isn’t this enough. If he gives you everything you need (Support, Loyalty, and the Cookies) then why isn’t this enough? Why do you HAVE to get married? Is it the marriage that you are looking for or the support, loyalty, and the cookies?
“But let me tell you what’s really hard: dating/living with/having a baby with a man who has no intention of marrying you and eight years up the road, he walks out and you’re left to find a new man/pay all the bills after years of splitting them with someone else/raising those kids on your own”
If you are giving him the Support, Loyalty, and Cookies that are described earlier in the book…why would he leave?
This can’t happen with married couples? Statistics say that it does all the time



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The reason I say that I’m not the target market for this book is because I am not “looking” to get married. I was at one time…I thought that the only way I could truly be an adult was to have my family: husband and kids. And, looking back on that time, I probably was the most unhappy in relationships that I’ve ever been. And I don’t think it’s because I was making all the mistakes that women do. Oh, I’m sure I made those mistakes, but that’s not what was making me unhappy. What was making me unhappy was that I wasn’t living life. I was trying to create it.

So now, I’m just decided to go with the flow. What happens happens. And if Josh wants to spend time with me, and I’m available, then we spend time together. This has been going on since September 2008 and our relationship has never been better. We spend more time together…and usually it’s his idea where before I was always the one to ask. And now we are living together…his idea, not mine. And he had no reason to believe that he was going to loose me if he didn’t. It was all his idea and it took me by complete surprise.

I have to agree more with Jenny McCarthy and what she said on Oprah regarding her relationship with Jim Carrey. Both of them at this point say that they will never marry again. And that they both know that the other is them because they want to be, not because of a marriage certificate.

Waiting on the Movers

So, I'm just sitting here waiting on the movers. They will be here anytime between 8:30 and 9:00. It is 8:27 now. It probably seems funny that I'm on my computer while I'm waiting for movers to come get my stuff. Seems as though the computer should be ready to go as well. But, they aren't moving this. They are only moving the big stuff that we don't want to move. Items like the entertainment center, couch, chair, bed and dressers. The rest we are just picking up and taking in little loads. Probably doesn't appear as the most efficient way, but actually is because then we are only taking what we know we are going to use. The rest gets thrown away. I'm lucky that I don't have to be out of the townhouse by a certain time, as my parents own it and they have cleaning to do themselves before they put it up for sale.

So, I'm looking outside and it definately seems like we are going to have a storm come in right as the movers are loading or unloading my stuff! that will totally suck!

I got up today at 4:45. That is WAY earlier for me but I guess it was kind of like Christmas morning. Once I woke up and started thinking about the stuff to do, I just couldn't get back to sleep. So, I've already been over to the house and got my kitchen put together. I had decided that my focus today is the kitchen, bathroom, and my bedroom. If I get those ready I'll be in good shape. I would say I'm off to a good start.

This probably won't be my only blog today. This is probably how I'll take my breaks today.

Almost Done!!!

Okay...got started on the basement on Friday. It sucked. Only because before we could put the color paint on, we had to put a waterproof paint on under it. This waterproof paint is really thick and gritty. It was very difficult for me to use the roller. I got started by just painting the mortar lines. I actually did the whole basement in the mortar lines. But that was a lot of bending and so by the time the walls were ready to use the roller to apply to the rest of the wall, I was too tired and sore.

Mom, Grandma and I worked hard on Saturday. That's mostly when I did most of the mortar lines. On Sunday we got that all finished and were able to start painting the color. Unfortunately the basement was moist and so the paint was drying as fast as it did upstairs. And on the bottom two rows, it is moist enough to not even dry and the paint has run. So, that is something we are just going to have to take care of while we live there.

Josh and his brother Jared finished up the hard inside work on Tuesday. Josh is having family and friends come help this coming Sunday on the yard. Otherwise, we are ready to start doing the fun decorating.

I'm officially moving in Friday, June 19th. 2 weeks later than I really wanted, but I'm dealing with it.

The best thing I can say right now is that I've had a chance to rest and now my back is basically better. It could take a turn if I'm not careful. But now that the really hard work is done I should be fine. I just will have to pack the boxes, then ask someone to lift them for me.

A Week of Having the House!!!!!

Okay, we've had the house a week and it is looking good. We've done soooo much. In some ways it feels like we are almost done and in other ways it feels like we've got soooo much more to do before I move in next weekend (if everything still goes according to plan...and to be honest I'm not the only person who has a say in this).

Last Sunday Josh, Melissa, Regan, Quinn, Mom and I were all over there working. Rose came too - although we were getting ready to wrap up by the time she got there. We had a birthday party planned for Quinn so we didn't work the whole day. I have to admit too that by Sunday I was worn out and sore so was doing more Supervising than working.

Josh worked on his bedroom. Melissa, Regan, and Mom tackled the kitchen walls. Quinn got started on a ''surprise" project for me which I have not seen.

Josh and his brother Jared finished up Josh's bedroom on Tuesday and started window trim. Mom says that he did such a good job on the windows that that's his job on Sunday. He says that's just because she doesn't like doing them!

Mom and I spent a little time over there each night with the exception of last night (Thursday). Dad came over Tuesday or Wednesday night and sprayed down the basement for me with bleach water.

Ike started on the floors last night which is very exciting. He said we would be able to walk on them by 8pm tonight but I'm saying we might as well wait till tomorrow morning. Mom saw them this morning when she dropped stuff off for me and said they look awesome!

So, I'm going to be heading over there very shortly to start on the basement. This will be the first day working on it and that's what makes it seem like a lot to do. However, a lot of that down there can be done once I move too (although we want to get as much done as possible before because you tend to not get projects done when there is no urgency to get in the house).

Can't wait to show off the pictures.

Days 2 and 3 of House Work

Yesterday was my 2nd day being able to work on the house. I was by myself and I can only reach so much not being able to get on a ladder or get down on the floor. I was able to do the final coats of paint on the living room walls and clean out the drawers in the kitchen. They were horrible! One of the drawers looked like they had just thrown a lot of candy canes in and let them melt. It was gross. So those are cleaned out (again the ones I could reach) and have tacky paper on the bottom of them.

Also the Cilco guy had to come back because my electric meter is in the basement.

Today was much more productive. Mom was there to help me. She was doing the trim where I did the walls themselves. She finished the trim in the living rooms while I painted my bedroom. Wait till you guys see the colors I picked out in there! Can't wait to post the BEFORE and AFTER pictures!

My Uncle Neil, Aunt Melissa, Regan and Quinn came to check out the house. When we got into the kitchen after showing them the living room, my room, and telling about what we are doing with Josh's room Regan asked me, "Is every room going to have 2 colors?" And the answer to that is pretty much, yep.

The living room, hallway, and two bedrooms are all hardwood floors. It was not our intention to have them refinished only because of money and time. However, my aunt and uncle offered to have them done as our housewarming gift which is SOOOOO NICE! (If you are reading this THANK YOU AGAIN!) That will start on Thursday and be finished on Saturday. This won't delay us at all because we will be done with the areas that they will be refinishing. So, everything worked out nicely.

Tomorrow Josh gets to start helping as it's the beginning of his weekend. My aunt Melissa and friend Rose (Ruth) are going to come help as well.

Josh wrote me this evening and asked, "Your place or mine?" for tonight. Then added, "Pretty soon we won't have to have this conversation anymore." That is so AWESOME!

I told him that my feet were so sore and that I hoped that he wasn't planning on taking me dancing tonight (HUGE joke). He said no dancing, he figures I'll be asleep by 10:30. I will be getting there at 10:15. He is probably very close. Although he WILL BE giving me a foot rub!

So, I think that's the update for now. Can't wait to be done so that I can enjoy the house!

New House Day 1, Back

Well, as of 3:00pm yesterday the new house became mine and Josh's. Things went smoothly at the closing. They handed my mom a key ring full of keys and said they didn't know what went with what. You would think they could have set a few aside and said, "This is the front door, and this is the side door." The two do take different keys. I had planned on going and getting Josh a BEARS key made as a surprise, but they were out of the house shape key. So, I'm still going to surprise him, it will just be delayed.

Mom and I got to the house and she realized she had forgotten several things that we needed including the rollers. We had one long one. We called Natasha to come over and bring a few of the things we needed...and her new dog (Harley). By the time she had gotten there we had the first coat on 2 walls in the living room. After Natasha and Harley left we decided that we needed to go get the other rolls to become productive.

So, we didn't REALLY spend a lot of time on the house last night. Although we did get a 2nd coat on the first two walls, a first coat on the other 2 walls in the living room, and then a first coat on the hallway walls.

I did decide that we are changing the color of 2 of the walls in Josh and I's rooms. What I was thinking before just isn't going to work.

I'm getting ready to get over and started. The Cilco man wasn't able to get a final reading yesterday because the meter is in my basement. So, I have to be over there all afternoon (which was the plan anyway).

I took BEFORE pictures...but am not going to post them till I have AFTER pictures.

Unfortunately, I have had a recurring back issue make a comeback at the most inconvenient time. I have had back surgery for a herniated disc both in May 2001 and October 2005. Now, right on time, 4 years later - I am in PAIN. Although it is not as bad as before, it is not helping right now, and could become aggravated by the work I'm doing. So, I have to take it easy and slow.

Made In The USA

Let me start off by saying that I support our troops (and by that I mean I would like the war to end and them to come home safely). One of my proudest days I can remember is when I watched my boyfriend (at the time) graduate from boot camp for the Air Force.

However, I had the strangest interaction with a soldier today on the phone. She was calling to check into her warranty on her vacuum. Because she did not have a receipt stating the date of purchase we would have to go by the serial number which tells when it's made. That's the only other date there is to go by. While most people find this frustrating because rarely do you buy something the same week or so that it was made, they can still understand there's little else to go by.

Unfortunately this woman's serial number was an '06 model and so out of warranty. She began to berate me and the U.S, for their poor customer service. She stated that she just couldn't believe the way that the service in the U.S has really gone down hill and it is just ridiculous.

Now, this really isn't a big deal. This kind of call is easy. What caught my attention though was that it was an AMERICAN SOLDIER talking poorly about the U.S. Regularly I get calls from customer's that ask where I'm located and although I say Illinois, I know that's not what they mean. They are checking to see if I'm in another country because they don't want to deal with me if I am. It always strikes me funny because I certainly don't sound like I'm anywhere else. And on a regular basis I'm chastised because some of our products are not made completely in the U.S.

So, to have an American Soldier on the phone berating the U.S. on their service was just amazing to me. I have to wonder where she gets the motivation to do her job if she is so unhappy with the country that she serves. And again, I love our service men and women. And I know that the majority you speak with do not behave this way. Unfortunately this one just caught my attention.